Sometimes we need the shelter and warmth of a loving friend to nourish our heart, to help us realize and touch, the most precious gifts in life. And in quiet moments we can remember that happiness really does happen and rainbows can form from one single tear. And from sadness to happiness we can create the magic of a single dream. I had never believed that life could be everything and that dreams were much too much to ask for, to reach for. I often thought that my needs were impossible to fulfill, but I am strong and I do believe that hawks really soar in beauty and people do not mean to neglect those that they love or care for and that somewhere on earth – I am truly special. – Susie

Ash-it- Rain

Suddenly you forgot
as our love turned to ash
tossed within the fire of your eyes.
Red oak and birch sway
the aroma of wine swept lips
toss and turn with a broken smile
Suddenly you forgot
as our love turned to ash
and the crystal moon laughed
at our paths never crossed
The night was born just moments ago
I suddenly remember
between the shadows of midnight
Somewhere it's eleven o'clock
and hidden in a solid fragrance
our love
turn to ash-it rain.

Comfortable

I cry for you
about twenty two o'clock
when the clouds fall
and the fog lifts
before the dew
kisses the morning light

I cry for you
about a quarter past eight thirty
when the sun rises
and the air is still fresh
with a virgin scent of night

I cry for you
I have not replaced your love
nor have I fell into the words
of untruth

I have found comfort in "The Word"
which is all I ever wanted was to be
"Comfortable"

caught in the past

Memories flow through my head so fast
I hardly have a chance to replace them
my own words keep me awake at night
as I wrestle and fight when the dark
meets the light. I heard you call out to
me and danced to our favorite song.
I laughed and cried equally to the tune
of sadness. Why? I just want to know
why? Did it hurt? Could you hear me
begging? Could you understand that
I could not save you? I tried, I really
tried. Why did you keep your eyes open
when you died in my arms? I knew you
were brave, did you want to face death
like you faced life? Close your eyes my
dear, close your eyes. You begged to die,
you fought to live. You tried, I tried.
I'm sorry that I could not save you.
I am so so sorry.

You Get It

I remember you
little one
standing alone
trying to keep warm

I remember you
puffed up with pride
while others flew
from limb to limb

It's true, I remember you
You affected my life
giving me guidence, comfort
and hope.
Not only to me
but to our entire nest.

I remember you and I know you will make it home someday,
your feathers spread as eagles soar I know
because..... you get it
and you have helped me understand what "It" is.
It has carried me through my darkest moments
when I have wanted to cave into a million pieces.
It has helped me to care for the ones I love and to be strong and it has never failed me.
"IT" is YOU.

(you get it)

Blues

It's cold for April. I can hardly believe that so much time has passed. Tomorrow would have been my brother's birthday. RIP my buddy.
I don't believe in graves or what some refer to as "Last resting place" I believe I will see him again. I'll look beyond the water at the park where we would talk. I'll look within my library for your favorite book. I miss you. I'll never understand why you wanted to die. You can't take it back just as I can't take back that I couldn't help you live.
It's really cold for April and today I just have the blues.

The Color Green

Memories race through my head
I remember your face as I tucked you in
You smile at me with confidence, a confidence I never had in myself.
Why is that?
I remember the tears that slithered down your cheeks when we first met
and holding hands moments after a kiss
Music played softly in the background
but I don't remember the tune, only your eyes
We cried, we laughed, we kissed, we just sat silently.
What color?
"Green" Of course.

510 And Rose' Wine

Rose' Wine at midnight. Fallin' Rocks shake the room and lights glimmer and dance to the sound of color. Holding tight as the mist carried us into the trusting hands of Love. We danced and laughed until our faces were drenched with dew. Who says that concrete doesn't float? I watched as light blue covered the sky and one single yellow flower stood straight among a thousand red buds. I felt that different before.

The flowerbed clock was perfect from stem to petal. Surrounded by energy that gave hope to those that pretend in fairy tales.

A child runs to his mother. She smiles back, assuring him with a hug. I remember it was 510 and I walked in white just like the maid of the mist.

Ransom

Tonight we celebrated the "Lord's Evening Meal" Can you even imagine knowing that it would be your last supper and through all that pain you still comfort those around you?

People don't always understand what a ransom is. The original sin from perfect man (Adam) had to be paid by another perfect Man, Jesus Christ. God didn't intend for us to live in a world filled with pain, disease, hate and lies. He build a perfect earth and since he gave us that free will from the start, he needed to "set things right" by allowing his son to die so that we could have the chance to live. In a perfect world as did Adam & Eve.

Tears fill my eyes... as I still feel the sting and pain of life.. but REV 21:4 reminds me of things to come.

Corona Has The Blues

I tried to draw you a smile. My palette is missing colors.
It's hard to paint in shades of Gray with a torn up brush
and left over Thursdays.

What it is, Angel? I can hardly hear your voice when you
whisper my name. "I am sad." Life wasn't suppose to be
this way. Death is sleep. Sleep is peace. It's not my
turn. I didn't buy a ticket for this ride. I didn't get
my hand stamped to stay. But I must... for my friends, my
baby blue and my love and respect for the one that holds
the deed.

Sometimes I just get the blues

How Long Is "Awhile"?

I'll just be gone "awhile", I'll see you in "awhile", "We'll talk again in "awhile".

It's been "awhile" since I disturbed my dreams and dusted off my memories. Tears pour down my face like dewdrops melting off of a sun-dripped rose.

Today the grass pretended to be green, the trees were budless though left in the shadow of a cruel winter they still looked half awake.

I could set my clock by sound of birds chirping for food or perhaps just happy that the sun is shinning.

I have my work cut out for me this year. Limbs, landscaping, the pool, bills and more bills but after "awhile" I feel like the only one that contributes.

I look forward to vacations and learning something new. I aim to visit Indiana and photograph all that is true.

Ramblings and babble. Do I really let anyone into my head?

I remember this kind of love. The love that spins you around when you dance, the love that tickles your smile into laughter and causes a calmness when you lay pressed flesh to flesh.

There's a sadness today although the sun is shinning and after "awhile" I'll just cry myself to sleep.

Rehashing

I'm not sure how to define "rehashing" It seems to me as if it's some sort of communication which is a positive step in understanding. Perhaps I'll figure it out. My guess is that words have different meanings for those that put them out there.

I've "rehashed" moments in my life that perhaps I regret or maybe memories that I would love to go back to and visit for awhile. How long is "awhile"? Maybe a lifetime.

So for today, I think I'll go refresh my memory on a few of the things that don't need to be rehashed. Sometimes it's just time to let go.

Goodnight to me.